I absolutely loved this detailed and colourful vignette of your family life and laughed out loud (with true sympathy for both you and your wife) at the line, "L. woke me up at 5am—hysterical wreck." How well I remember those long days and nights shepherding small children on little sleep.
I love your resolve to give your children back the space they need to develop the vital work of their stage of life - play, and loving each other as prep for adulthood - and to honour them and your family by trying to do so yourself. I feel for the majority of people who simply do not have the intellectual resources to drive out trivia (and worse) with time-tested "good, true and beautiful" things like Austen, Wind in the Willows, and Larsson (who I am going to look up.) In the absence of extended family and neighbours, most people simply do not even begin the attempt to keep the tsunami out of their homes. You don't mention music, but this is in my view a vital component of the TV-free home: accessible classical music, children's songs and in particular, for Christian parents, good Scripture memory songs with (untrashy) folk tunes.
"Television" and its contemporary iterations have sucked the life out of community. Where once we were driven out of doors for company, whether it be chatting over the fence with a neighbour, playing in the street, singing in a choir or going to the pub or a social, now we can stay inside - alone, or "alone together" per the drawing at the top of your post - and be "entertained" (actually mostly poisoned) all evening, all day if empty time allows. All of us find it hard to resist. I'm grateful for our church that gathers us three or more times a week. And grateful for you winsomely sharing your experience: terrific writing.
On music: key here is the need to MAKE music. In Andy Crouch's book "Tech Wise Family", he makes the point that, until VERY recently, if you said "let's play some music", people would assume you meant singing or picking up instruments. Our kids are still small and we live upstairs from neighbours with only a thin floor between us, but our first priority if we ever lived anywhere bigger is to get a piano at the heart of the house!
Interesting experiment. Hope you stick with it. I grew up from the age of 12 without TV after moving abroad. I never got back into the habit. I have never watched a sitcom or soap in my life, or indeed any 'must-see' films. References in common culture to such as Del Boy leave me doing some surreptitious research so I don't feel completely like a recently-arrived Martian. It only recently dawned on me that Game of Thrones was not a Playstation product; I only heard about Blackadder long after it ceased to be aired, and I'm not even curious to find out what it was about. So your kids may feel a little detached from the culture of their peers, especially in years to come when "What did you watch last night?" begins many a playground conversation, but I'm sure your family life will be all the richer for the step you've taken.
Only just now catching up, but this is so interesting. I felt like I got to know your little family. Have you read Johann Hari's book Stolen Focus? Very interesting along these lines even though the second half wanders off into some lefty activist weeds.
Also, I didn't realize until now that we're nearly the same age. You're a few months older. :)
Haha did you think I was younger or older than you?
And yes, I have read Stolen Focus… although ironically I didn’t finish it 🤣 but I think I dropped off at precisely that lefty activist point. But yeah, that book really made me sit up and realise that it is within my power to give my children the gift of the ability to pay attention.
I absolutely loved this detailed and colourful vignette of your family life and laughed out loud (with true sympathy for both you and your wife) at the line, "L. woke me up at 5am—hysterical wreck." How well I remember those long days and nights shepherding small children on little sleep.
I love your resolve to give your children back the space they need to develop the vital work of their stage of life - play, and loving each other as prep for adulthood - and to honour them and your family by trying to do so yourself. I feel for the majority of people who simply do not have the intellectual resources to drive out trivia (and worse) with time-tested "good, true and beautiful" things like Austen, Wind in the Willows, and Larsson (who I am going to look up.) In the absence of extended family and neighbours, most people simply do not even begin the attempt to keep the tsunami out of their homes. You don't mention music, but this is in my view a vital component of the TV-free home: accessible classical music, children's songs and in particular, for Christian parents, good Scripture memory songs with (untrashy) folk tunes.
"Television" and its contemporary iterations have sucked the life out of community. Where once we were driven out of doors for company, whether it be chatting over the fence with a neighbour, playing in the street, singing in a choir or going to the pub or a social, now we can stay inside - alone, or "alone together" per the drawing at the top of your post - and be "entertained" (actually mostly poisoned) all evening, all day if empty time allows. All of us find it hard to resist. I'm grateful for our church that gathers us three or more times a week. And grateful for you winsomely sharing your experience: terrific writing.
Thanks Ellerslie - always love your comments.
On music: key here is the need to MAKE music. In Andy Crouch's book "Tech Wise Family", he makes the point that, until VERY recently, if you said "let's play some music", people would assume you meant singing or picking up instruments. Our kids are still small and we live upstairs from neighbours with only a thin floor between us, but our first priority if we ever lived anywhere bigger is to get a piano at the heart of the house!
Interesting experiment. Hope you stick with it. I grew up from the age of 12 without TV after moving abroad. I never got back into the habit. I have never watched a sitcom or soap in my life, or indeed any 'must-see' films. References in common culture to such as Del Boy leave me doing some surreptitious research so I don't feel completely like a recently-arrived Martian. It only recently dawned on me that Game of Thrones was not a Playstation product; I only heard about Blackadder long after it ceased to be aired, and I'm not even curious to find out what it was about. So your kids may feel a little detached from the culture of their peers, especially in years to come when "What did you watch last night?" begins many a playground conversation, but I'm sure your family life will be all the richer for the step you've taken.
Thanks Derek. Of all those you mention, I think Blackadder would be most worth your time at this stage!
Only just now catching up, but this is so interesting. I felt like I got to know your little family. Have you read Johann Hari's book Stolen Focus? Very interesting along these lines even though the second half wanders off into some lefty activist weeds.
Also, I didn't realize until now that we're nearly the same age. You're a few months older. :)
Haha did you think I was younger or older than you?
And yes, I have read Stolen Focus… although ironically I didn’t finish it 🤣 but I think I dropped off at precisely that lefty activist point. But yeah, that book really made me sit up and realise that it is within my power to give my children the gift of the ability to pay attention.
Ha, yes, we apparently lost our focus at the same point then. 😁
I would have guessed you were closer to 40 than me, but not there yet. :)
Sat here in a rocking chair wearing corduroys and a cardigan, I guess I have to say fair enough